feel alone

I feel so alone......     I dont know why but lately I just feel alone  I am almost done with my CNA class overall I have a 98 all I have left is state board next week. Then RN starts in August. Tonight is the 4 night in 3 weeks that Ie lost an eldery. I hurt my heart hurts!!!   I have grown with these  people... hubby and wife going to bed together holding hands and then to lose one after 67 yrs.... my heart hurts.... I love these "lovebugs" I love them so much.... the elderly love too they cry their hear breaks!!!!!!  tonight we lost another loved one 4 in 2 weeks!!!!!! I have cried I have shed tears!!!! 
Is it wrong to feel greedy my dad went to heaven at 54yrs old!!!! Memorial Day weekeend is going to be hard on me 3 yrs since I heard his voice I miss my dad so much! I want one second with him... the other nigh I had a dream and he just smiled at me I tried so hard to have him talk to me all he did was smile papa I miss you please visit me again and talk to me!!!! I miss you so much and love you so much... I never thought I would lose you at the age of 54 ( me 31) I love and miss you so much the kids are getting so big they talk about you a lot and miss u!!!!  The boys are in baseball and dancer is in about to start softballl.  
   B and I are doing great!!! We dont see each other that much due to our schedules... I miss him so much!!!! 
The kids are all doing well! I miss the boys so much and cant wait til July when they are here for a month!!!!